Movie Review: Child's Play 2

Child's Play 2
Directed by John Lafia
84 min.



What Am I Doing With This Movie
Like with Halloween III: Season of the Witch, this is a movie a horror dork who works for Showtime HD programming selected just for insomniac horror dorks like me to see. Thank you for fighting the good fight, man-who-is-likely-fat. I appreciate what you sneak in every once in a while, and this is you greatest contribution of all: Child's Play 2 and 3 back to back in HD. I could kiss your chode of a penis out of a heterosexual respect, but I wont, because that was hyperbole.

Why Is Chucky So Dope
I'll tell you why; because Chucky is the only horror movie monster who you see all the damn time, is scary when he's not moving, and is downright funny and awesome when he is. You actually fucking root for him when he's moving. That shit is phenomenal. Find me another movie like that. You can't. Fuck off.

Why Aren't All The Chucky Movies Dope Then
Because the concept only really worked while Andy was a kid. Chucky is obviously meant to represent Andy's dark urges, and it just gets stupid if Andy isn't dealing with a monster roughly his size, as in Child's Play 3. In that one they made Andy sixteen, since even by horror movie standards, it just wouldn't be all that that believable or enjoyable to see a child get stalked by a doll every couple months. This choice to age Andy eight years killed the scare factor though. A sixteen-year-old could punt Chucky the fuck away. Even Don Mancini (who wrote all the Chucky films) admits that Child's Play 3 just plain doesn't work.

I'm not gonna talk about Bride of Chucky or Seed of Chucky here. Those are far shittier than Child's Play 3 for a far more fundamental reason: self-parody is fucking uninteresting.

What's Good
Well it's far from a great movie, but it's better than it ever needed to be. That goes a long way for me.

- There are a bunch of shots that are damn near great. One that sticks out in my mind in particular is when Andy enters his foster parents' house for the first time. We see him walk through the foyer and dining room in one static shot, only panning as he moves out of frame. It's eerie, the set direction is beautiful, and if you saw just that shot you'd think it was from a film far better than Child's Play 2.

- The animatronics are phenomenal. The subtle facial movements on Chucky are handled extremely well, and no movement feels cheesy. Everything in this respect is far better than the first movie.

- Jenny Agutter is gorgeous and I have a total crush on her. Even in this completely non-sexual role. The other actors are alright, too. They do their best with the material.

- The part where Chucky yells "FLOOR IT!" and the girl says "Yeah right, in this station wagon?" and Chucky replies with a disappointed "SHIT!" I ran that back like four times. Hilarious timing and delivery.

- The death after death after death of Chucky in the final act. They really wanted to top the previous film's iconic and gorgeous climax, and though they didn't, this climax is far more exciting to watch.

What's Bad
The story isn't as tight as the first one. The first one is very simple and plausible, with a fantastic climax. This one involved some blatant stretching in a lot of parts to make the plot work.

Pace is a bit off. Pace is a big dealbreaker for me. I should probably devote an entire post to what makes for good pace in films.

What Did I Learn From This Movie
- Cheesy 80's blue lightning, though a convincing sign of evil to the audience, is apparently an everyday occurrence to the head of a toy company, and no heed should be paid to such.

- Toy factory machines are as bright and colorful as the toys they produce!

- Newspaper truck drivers routinely leave the back of their truck open. One can only assume this is to air out newspapers, or encourage hop-ons.

- Liquor stores only accept cash, even when it matters not to the events in the story whether or not said character is able to purchase his liquor or not.

- Richard Kelly totally saw Child's Play 2 and cast Beth Grant for Donnie Darko off it.

- The only black person in the county drives the newspaper truck. Maybe that's why he leave's the back of his truck open. Cause fuck this town.

What Else
The first two Chucky films are classics. Third is inherently flawed, but not as bad as the two after. I'm sure younger generations will be easier on Bride and Seed, but for me they're like the Star Wars prequels in terribleness.

Oh, and check out Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run. If you don't fall in love with her in that, I don't care to know you.