I had a dream last night that I was back in High School, and it was the first day of classes in a new school year. I went to my first few, but my dreams always skip me through boring parts, so I don't remember what happened in those classes. I just know that I went to them. Do your dreams do that? No? They don't love you. My dreams are full of love and abridged for my pleasure.
So I was skipped to after those first few classes, and I'm deciding I'm not going to go to the next one, since it was one I hadn't even signed up for, and didn't need to graduate; obviously an error on my schedule. I decide to cut, knowing it wouldn't matter since I'd get my guidance counselor to remove the class first thing tomorrow, and then I get caught almost immediately; something that never would happen to me back during my High School career, but it'd been years, so I was surely rusty.
The security guard that caught me then dragged me off to a classroom in the basement, where I sat in front of a 'jury of my peers' who were there to decide a punishment for my infraction. Said jury was comprised entirely of thuggish kids assumedly endowed in the criminal arts. These kids glared at me as if I were a pile of fresh, seran-wrapped, all-white meat with eyes. The moderator, a butch lesbian gym teacher I had back in the day, oblivious to the preposterousness of this trial, then began it.
I did pretty will with my jury. I cursed a lot, and came off really affably gangster. They were surely going to let me off with a light sentence, if they even gave me one at all. When the trial ended, I was found not guilty. I was elated, and thanked each and every juror personally with a respective complicated handshake. The jurors then filed out of the room, and it was just me and the gym teacher. She explained to me that I could leave now, but on one condition: that I take some pills that work really well on student morale. I explained that I didn't want to take any pills I hadn't discussed with my parents first. She told me that I couldn't call them unless I took the pills. So I ran. I ran far, and fast.
I ran to a mountain and rock climbed it to the top, where I dropped dozens of boulders on her, crushing her. She was gone.
The End.
Friday, October 24, 2008
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